I was told I’d be off my feet for two weeks…that sounded reasonable enough at the time- I mean, who can’t handle two weeks of not working? In my mind, I was picturing myself happily catching up on some much needed relaxing, reading and writing, maybe with some web surfing and bad TV mixed in…This wouldn’t be all bad.
Yet after less than 48 hours of being home and on my own (my laziness companion went back to work Monday), I’ve got a bad case of cabin fever and have spent at least 8 hours downloading and organizing recipes from Cooking Light magazine onto my iPhone and justifying 17 ways from Sunday why I should be allowed to drive somewhere.
Why is it so hard to follow doctor’s orders and “do nothing”? Am I so predisposed toward being on the go that I don’t know how to just sit still anymore? According to Newton’s first law of motion, an object in motion will remain in motion unless acted on by an outside force. Apparently there isn’t an outside force quite as strong as the momentum that carries me through most days because I’m completely failing at slowing down. I feel guilty if I do stay on the couch for a few hours, as though I’m not doing what I “should be doing,” whatever that means. And ironically enough, what I should be doing is sitting on the couch. Sigh.
Don’t get me wrong, there has been a little bit of down time. Like a good patient, I have read two books, answered emails, paid bills, written two blog posts, flipped through eleventy-hundred magazines, watched TV, sewed up a hole in my down comforter, and spent some quality time petting my cat.
But true to form, I’m not good at staying down for long. So I also did a fair amount of cooking, cleaned out every closet, drawer and cupboard in the house (probably for the fifth time in two years), hung wall shelves in the bathroom (they look great, by the way, and really freed up some room on the sink), did a gazillion loads of laundry, rehung the bedroom curtains, and vacuumed the steps.*
Evidently I don’t know how to do nothing and sit still for any length of time. I’m trying, but a sense of restlessness keeps creeping up on me. Maybe over the next two days I will figure out how to relax and recharge, without the guilt or pressure to get things done or always be in motion. This will be a training exercise in reprogramming my body; it cannot be healthy to go at that pace indefinitely. For now I am going to repeat this mantra to myself until it takes hold: Slow down. Overall well-being depends on knowing when and how to relax. Vitality comes when the body has time to heal.
*I would like to note that despite extreme temptation, I did not mow the grass, move any furniture, do yoga, or hang the tv on the living room wall like I wanted to.
