girl drinking coffee at work

in a mood

I woke up this morning feeling sluggish. I wanted to stay in bed. Now that’s not how I like to wake up. I want to be like the guy singing, “Morning’s here, the morning’s here! Breakfast is near…” from Friends. But I couldn’t muster up the energy or enthusiasm for it today. More than likely, I had some dreams last night that seeped into my unconscious mind putting me in quite the mood this morning. And because I was feeling down and out, I decided rather than to try to get myself out of it, I would embrace the bad mood for all it was worth. I intentionally got dressed in clothes that didn’t exactly match just to defy my own sense of sanity. I was 20 minutes late to work, and still stopped to get coffee on the way. I laughed in the face of routine and said, “Haha, world! Come and get me if being late and looking mismatched is the worst thing I can do today…” And I finally mosied into work, sat down, and wrote a blog instead of doing anything more productive than that. I am tired of being an automaton. I’m tired of letting things pass me by as I look out the window at my little, bubbly world.

If you can relate, come with me for a minute…sing backup for me up as I yell, “Enough already!” Enough with being uninspired, enough with living life like a lemming, enough robotics, enough with going through life without paying attention to it. Have you been there? Have you suddenly caught yourself, maybe you’re in traffic, or walking into work, or frantically trying to “get things done” only to move onto the next uninspiring thing/person/activity (feel free to fill in the blank here)….only to realize that you have no idea what on earth you’re doing in the first place? And suddenly you think to yourself, “Is this all there is?” And you realize you’re wasting it. Wasting life. And you don’t know how to snap out of it. Yeah, I don’t either. But I’m going to go grab my cup of coffee and think about it for a while, so feel free to join me (if you can find the time.)

In my opinion, when it comes right down to it, two things make up who we are and ultimately determine what we’re doing here- they constitute our purpose in life, so to speak:
1) the ability to think for ourselves and question what we’re told and what we think we know
2) how we relate to other people.

What kind of an impact are we leaving? Are we contributing anything at all? Isn’t that the whole point? Sure that puts a lot of pressure on you, right? Thinking, “Crap, what if I don’t make an impact?” can really put a damper on your day. But that’s no reason to not try. Or at least make a half-assed effort. Because there MUST be a point to all of this. If not, why are we here?

My mood will likely impact at least one other person today. And those interactions with others (of varying significance) constitute the essence of life…they are the cornerstones of why we do what we do, they make up who we are, and determine where life takes us. Why do we fling them around carelessly? Why is it so easy to toss relationships aside when things get rough? Why do we write off other people when our pride gets in the way? Our relationships and the ability to think for ourselves play starring roles in shaping our destinies; they determine how our lives intermingle, and result in millions of tiny snapshots colliding to form the mural of life. On that note, my coffee cup is looking half empty…better go do something about it.

1 thought on “in a mood

  1. Beutiful, Splendid, Excellent, The Best or whatever; One word from my side “Beyond Words”.

    Hey, Kate, Do write the next piece of your heart. I am waiting…

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