Lately I’ve noticed I’m doing more things that cause me to stop and think to myself, “Hmm..this feels like me.” Maybe this happens to you, too. You put on an old pair of jeans and they fit in such a way that you instantly feel comfortable and more relaxed- it’s as though you took a deep breath, exhaled, and settled into yourself a little bit like you would a big, overstuffed chair. Or maybe you notice that you’re drawn to a certain color or kind of fabric lately, or wearing your hair a certain way, or you suddenly get the overwhelming desire to start making espresso at home “just because.” And you know you’re making the best choice when merely the simple act of making that decision stirs this feeling deep inside that you’re listening to yourself. You feel as though you’re getting to know yourself better… You realize this feels right.
I don’t quite understand why certain things randomly strike a chord with me, but the truth is, sometimes they simply do. So I’ve stopped questioning it and instead allow the synergy of the experience to sweep over me like a happy little rush of endorphins. I’ve noticed this phenomenon happening more and more often lately…the energy around me is shifting ever so slightly, and things are getting nudged into place by an invisible force that seems to know how things should be.
I’m paying more attention to my surroundings every day, and I’m making choices based on what feels right – not based on what society tells me I ought to do, or what I think my parents or best friend would want me to do. I’m asking myself-only long enough to make an instinctual decision- “What feels right?” And then I watch what happens when I allow my natural choices to blend my life into its own unique harmony.
As I’m writing this, the random shuffle of music I’m listening to inherently knows what songs make up tonight’s soundtrack. Even the act of writing creates that feeling in me as well – the deep-rooted belief that this is how things should be… this is what speaks to who I am. Photography… Wearing jeans and a t-shirt and my hair up in a messy bun… Buying a stretchy, comfy new skirt and a pair of flip-flops with vines drawn on the soles… Deciding that tomorrow I’m going to go talk to John Drake about boxing at his gym… Transplanting my tiny pepper plants and tomatoes into their new homes… Slowly getting rid of things I own that I don’t need or use and taking them one carload at a time to Goodwill… Driving the Mini with the sunroof open and the windows down, even when it’s 90 degrees.
This hodge podge of seemingly insignificant events, choices and circumstances has created a feeling within me that is at once peaceful and energizing. The contented stirrings within confirm that it’s in these moments that I’m paying attention to my most authentic self. And through this awareness I’m allowing the various pieces of myself to shift into place like a Chinese puzzle… slowly the picture of who I am, at my most genuine, is taking shape.
The universe constantly presents us with opportunities, ideas and suggestions. You just have to pay more attention…and listen to yourself. You know who you are, but sometimes you have to turn off the part of your brain that wants approval, or the part of you that makes decisions based on fear or other people’s expectations. Turn off the voices inside that steer you based on anything other than what strikes a chord within your soul. Because it’s when we are in harmony with ourselves that we become what it is we were meant to be in the bigger picture. We find our place in the world and contribute our perfectly imperfect selves to it.
Listen carefully…pay attention…you know who you are. And I have a hunch that if you listened more often you’d realize that when your unique Chinese puzzle shifts into focus, other things around you start falling into place as well.
And, hey- whatever it is you do that makes you realize, “This just feels like me,” do it more often.
*I chose this particular photo to go with the post because I have loved this photo ever since I took it in Florence four years ago…and I can’t explain why I love it so much, I just do. And that, in and of itself, makes me happy.